How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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