When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
