take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
we made out on top of his cat.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Is it because I queefed?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just pee around me
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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