currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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