Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
