you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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