I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
