Non-Jews are for practice
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Randomize