Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
