its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
