Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
