I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
