i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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