he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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