a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
