apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
barbara walters just said penis...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
