xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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