It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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