I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
