don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
