is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Randomize
