i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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