Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
