are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
