i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
