I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
