guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
