I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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