i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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