And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I haven't been this sober since birth.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
