I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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