it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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