I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
are you so shy because you have an std?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
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