The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
how can u be prego again
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
