Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize