my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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