Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
