I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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