nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
