..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
