Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
