Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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