i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Randomize
