Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
