When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
