It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
