just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
