imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
