He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
