Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
