Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
