she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Dear god my vagina.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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