Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
