omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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