I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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