I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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