dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
