He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just forgot I was standing up.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
