You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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