Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize