I'm so fucking centered right now
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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