You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Drunk is a universal language darling
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
