you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize