your room smells of hookers.
And success
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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