You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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