i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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