found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
