It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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