He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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