Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
