The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
