And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
